October 16th, 2009

October 16, 2009,

Cultural shock for overseas Asian- European:

Today is another glamorous day of our weekend. The weather is just perfect, nice breeze and nice dazzling sun shine.

After hoping on the scooter and going to Metro with Wijb (one of those big mall with imported stuff ) getting a excruciating headache due to terrible pollution, then I decided to be a bit relaxed and write down something.

I was listening to the news and the was a report of problems occurs among European –Asian people and they seem to be unsecure, usually about their marriages and how they stumble somewhere.

I bet it is so frustrating.
I have noticed among some of my friends who are living abroad for year and who are moved there with their family and now have to face different life, totally different.
Maybe for me, I can say I am lucky and that is good part!

There are points which are explaining the bitter reality of life changes for a lot of Asian European, the first or second generation.

The fact is a lot of these families are so conservative and it is so difficult for them to adapt themselves and get changed.

The point is they send their children abroad to study ,get a good job and work and when they are settled and financially completely matured, then it comes to marriage, their expectation from their children is go back to their native country and get a girl or find a boy from there.

In fact, for these people, girls and boys, as they have lived abroad for long time or grew up there, then is too difficult to make a balance and they can’t find a proper person in West and neither back in motherland, cause they learn and see things as works in different ways and they are carrying 2 cultures.

If they find somebody, open-minded and overseas girls, they are totally independent which means don’t want give up their career, goals and go back to traditional life style which means mostly women sit at home and take care of kids and cook and not to share house chores with their partner, they expect to be respected from their male family and equal for everything.

They have used to live abroad with male partners under one roof before marriage or vise versa and parents can’t accept that.

Some people think these girls are picky and they reach to thirties and still not married and why?
Some choose their partners from home and mostly those marriages reaches to divorce as one partner is still dangling and insisting one culture and can’t easily accept between traditional cultural and modern values.

Sometimes carrying 2 identities is hard and tough and parents are fighting for keeping and supporting them to keep their home culture, but on the other hand want them to be over educated and open and financially unindepended and like westerners.

Maybe the answer is when we are embracing with these 2 identities and culture and both male and female are unsure how to handle it, the best way is how to compromise in life.